I have precious little to look at across the many football websites this morning. One of the top stories on BBC Sport is of Titus Bramble suggesting he may or may not leave Sunderland. Reading that news fails to titillate me. Could there be a worse transfer story? Read more
It is quite staggering just how much change has happened in the Premier League over the past few days. Tony Pulis has "mutually" walked away from Stoke City, which actually means he was sacked without ceremony by Peter Coates. Arsenal have been linked with any striker that has a Read more
Do you wanna know why I typed that in caps lock? Because Tony Pulis has "mutually walked away from Stoke City after chairman Peter Coates sacked him for a sh*t run of results." There's nothing "mutual" about Pulis' departure, he's been sacked. Why? Because Stoke City have stagnated Read more
Real Madrid have officially announced what we've all been expecting since about November: Jose Mourinho is leaving Real Madrid after three years in charge, in which time he won the league and Copa Del Rey. Mourinho will take charge for the final time against Osasuna on June 1st, Read more
The contrasting situations between Arsenal and Tottenham Hotspur at the end of 90 minutes on Sunday, spoke volumes for the importance of Champions League football.
On the one hand, Arsenal celebrated as if they had lifted a trophy, for which they have been criticised for. "Fourth is not a trophy, this just Read more
Now a good eight episodes in to our coverage of Ivory FC, we catch up with them at a boot camp, where they are put through their paces by an incredibly attractive, if not intimidating, fitness coach. (yes, the fitness instructor is female) Obviously, me stating how the fitness instructor looked is important to this post, you all have to take note of that. I have to say though, I would have indefinitely soiled myself if she spoke to me as she seems pretty demanding!
Anyway, that’s irrelevant! Any boot camp course is going to be demanding both physically and mentally. When a group is put under pressure situations where they are challenged in both aspects, (physical and mental) comradeship is born, which is why the army do boot camps for weeks at a time so as to bring individuals into a collective unit. It’s a far quicker method as opposed to sending everybody down to the pub for a laugh and a pint.
As a group, this was going to test Ivory’s collective strength and such an experience would set them up for a season-long slog. Even if the Ivory lads were to argue all day, it would still show they’ve bonded as arguments leads to resolve. (most of the time)
Anyway, that’s enough warbling from me, just watch the damn video…
That’s all from me on this post, there will be the ‘player watch’ feature from me tomorrow morning!
Oh get your mind of the gutter, I wasn’t referring to Penguin’s having intercourse, though thinking about it, I wonder how… never mind. What this morning’s title refers to, is Stjarnan FC of Iceland who have a host of novelty ways to celebrate scoring a goal, of which you’ll be able to see below in the featured videos.
Now to be fair, I never would have heard of them had it not been for Nivea For Men informing me of what they do, and the fact that just last week, they travelled to England so they could teach Ivory FC their dance routines to ensure Ivory FC have a good way to celebrate now that they’re scoring more goals! If your new to Jumpers For Goalposts, then you will need to pop on over to the official Nivea For Men page to find out more about the ‘Great Football Experiment’, which you can do by clicking here.
Now that your all clued up on the subject, we can get down to business! We were actually invited along to meet Stjarnan FC ourselves by Nivea, which was very kind, but unfortunately both me and Rainy were unavailable, so we had to skip the event, which was gutting! Not to worry though, as they also very kindly informed of new videos on their YouTube channel to show us just what went on at the event, take a look!
As you can see, they do some hilarious celebrations and as they rightly said in an e-mail sent to us, they’re sick of boring celebrations, stating that those performed in the Premiership are very mundane and I can only agree, I mean, how boring was it watching Alan Shearer celebrate every single one of his 283 goals in the Premiership? It was very boring and frankly, I’m surprised arm didn’t drop off.
For me, as well as planned celebrations being a hit, I like those of raw emotion. For a choreographed celebration, my favourite was Mainz 05′s ‘rock band’ celebration last season, which would see three players either sing, pretend to hit drums with their football boots, whilst another played air guitar. That celebration always made me laugh, as does the Jimmy Bullard one, where he imitates Phil Brown…
That’s a celebration which has been over-used in conversations about football celebrations, but it’s just an absolute classic! As I said though, my favourite celebrations are those when you lose all inhibitions and go completely mental and no, I’m not talking a psychotic Diego Maradona, but an emotionally overcome Wojciech Szczesny for Arsenal against Barcelona last season…
Or what about David Beckham’s ‘redemption’ against Argentina at the 2002 World Cup?
As an England fan, that brings a tear to my eye every single time I watch it. Beckham’s reaction to scoring is one of pure emotion, just look how red his face goes! Having been publicly villified by everybody in England, he scored the winning goal against Argentina, the team against which he earned his red card in 1998. Four years later, Beckham scored that penalty, releasing four years of anguish, a beautiful moment.
Now before I leave you, I’m going to leave you with my favourite ever goal/celebration ever, you know, just because I can…
After winning a competition formed by Nivea For Men to take part in the ‘Great Football Experiment’, Ivory FC (Sunday League team) of Essex have been put through their paces by professional coaches, received help from Ray Clemence, Terry Venables and Ray Wilkins to help turn a Sunday League side of no-hopers into a semi-respectable side. I say ‘semi-respectable’ as a respectable side is Manchester United or Real Madrid, whilst Ivory can realistically only hope to achieve a level of respect currently held by say, Celtic or Rangers.
So to keep you upto date with the latest episodes… Brad the Goalie has turned up drunk, somebody else was sick in a bush, Will Rockett has a fringe even mine can be envious of and they’ve played against DJ Spoony, whoever the hell he is!
With help over the summer, Ivory have started to look sharper and hopefully, that quality of training and their new-found level of health can give them the edge over their Sunday League rivals. In episode seven, Ivory kit-up for their first match of the season…
So, that was nearly a very disappointing start to the season! The only question up for debate, is whether ‘Cav’ can rightfully claim the equaliser?
Since I point-blank refuse to comment on football matches in which Salif Diao makes an appearance, I’m just not prepared to type up an article on a match which Stoke City can’t be arsed with. If Stoke City, playing European football for the first time ever want to send out their second-string, then I’ll not give cover their match. Simple.
No worries though, as this means we get the opportunity to catch up with Ivory FC, the guys from Essex being trained by Nivea For Men’s scheme to turn a poor side into a ‘semi-respectable’ one. In the last episode, Ivory had met up with a professional nutritionist to talk about diets this and diets that to show Ivory just what eating well can do. For example, fruit in a morning as opposed to is going to be much, much better for you. With this all being said, would ‘Brad the Goalie’ take all of this in?
One of the things mentioned in Ivory’s meeting with the nutritionist was alcohol and how that is obviously not the ideal way to prepare for a match. Personally, aside from Corona and Peroni, I don’t drink beer as, whisper it quietly, but… I don’t like the taste of beer! Shocking…
Anyway, Brad didn’t adhere to this particular piece of advice and turned up ‘twatted’ for a pre-season match. Worse still, Ray Clemence was in attendance at this particular training session, a man who is pretty much the Doyan of English goalkeepers, quite the clamger dropped by Brad there!
With pre-season matches, you always have to take distance from the score, pre-season is all about finding your shape, form and fitness, the result doesn’t really matter! Ivory were up against a team they got whalloped 10-0 by last time they played them, so how did they get on? I’d suggest you watch the video…
See you in the comments…
P.S. stay tuned for our normal ‘Premiership Preview’ this evening! See you there!
Morning! It’s a short post to start off today followed by a longer one later. This morning, we’ll be catching up with Ivory FC and watching another ‘webisode’ of their progress under Nivea For Men’s gentle wing.
Last time out, Ivory FC had a training session overseen by the one and only Terry Venables, who said some stuff about cogs being vital to a football team, which was nice. That was episode four and today, predictably, is episode five…
So, another episode and the lads from Essex have now learned the fine arts of eating properly to suit their regime. In the video, Ivory’s Nutritionist for the day stated it’s imperative they eat before a match, but just what do they need to eat in order to compete with the best? Well, Diego Forlan recommends fruit and toast (brown bread) to follow that. Ever since I read that (four months ago I think, I have no idea) I’ve stuck to it religiously and honestly, I feel great for it. The nutritionist who gives his expert knowledge in relation to Forlan’s answers also says Porridge, which I have every day apart from a match day, when I have fruit and toast; porridge is extremely good for you, but it just sits so heavy!
Right, I told you it was going to be short, but I’m ending it here for today! What do you eat in a morning before a game?!
Morning! As you may have guessed from the title, it’s time to catch up with Ivory FC as we see how they’re getting on in their quest to be taken to the next level via professional methods of training, rather than getting blind drunk most weekends the night before playing a game. If you remember from the previous episode, Ivory FC had just received a 4-0 battering from a team of celebrities, the fact Ivory were rolled over so easily just goes to show how much work they need to put in to take their game to the next level.
For previous episodes, just click on the ‘Great Football Experiment’ tag on the sidebar and that will direct you to posts related to this, which contain videos of Ivory’s progress. Today, we’re on episode four…
So as you can see, Ivory have now officially started their gruelling training regime and along with the intensity of the training, you can see some of the boys realising just how much work they have to do, there’s no messing about to be had and in Stephen Cavalier’s attitude, he shouldn’t be so cavalier about combining alcohol and training. (did you like the use of his surname then as I referred to his drinking? Pretty clever, eh?!)
Anyway, that’s all I have time for today, I will be back later for a normal post of debate and opinion, but this is all I can fit in for now. Just remember to stay tuned for more updates on Ivory FC!
Now, as you will have noticed on Twitter yesterday, I’d stated there would be a match review on today’s games. Frankly, that won’t come tomorrow morning as these current words are in their place, BUT there will the match review as promised later in the afternoon, as well as our German night, which I’m looking forward to writing!
So, we’re back with the ‘Great Football Experiment’ as Ivory FC continue to gain guidance under the lovely, caring, well moisturised arm of ‘Nivea For Men’. If your not familiar with this experiment, then click on the ‘Football Experiment’ tag on the tag cloud halfway down this page and you’ll able to find posts regarding this subject, which is nice.
So, having reached episode two on our last post, today we’re on part three, which is split into two halfs, not quite sure why but still, two lovely videos available for you to watch…
So, I hope that one, you weren’t caught out at work watching those videos and two, you thoroughly enjoyed them. Despite taking a 4-0 beating, they did compete in the first half and if not for a rather clumsy challenge in the box, then Ivory would have gone in 0-0 at half-time, a very respectable scoreline against a group of actors who for their roles, have to keep super-healthy, no matter how messed up Ralf Little appears every time I see him.
Despite keeping a good shape in the first half, they flew into melt-down in the second half, conceding three goals as Ivory started to grow tired. This is where us English fail on a Sunday morning and yes, I know it’s only Sunday League football and it’s not life or death, but just imagine how less tired you’d feel after a 90 minute match on a Sunday if you cut out binge-drinking the night before, quitting smoking and not eating a full-blown fry-up on the morning of a game to ‘wake you up’. Personally I have jam on toast and a banana or apple to get me going, it’s far healthier and when I’m not playing football, I eat Porridge, which contains slow-releasing energy to keep you going through the day. I wouldn’t advise Porridge on a match-day as it’s heavy to eat, but my point is, that it’s just those little thing which alter your game, not an hour spent in the gym contradicted by a takeaway.
So, will Ivory start to respect their bodies in a better fashion over the next few weeks? I don’t know, I’m watching the episodes in-sync with them being posted on here, so I’m just as intrigued to find out as you al
Those sharp-eyed readers amongst you will have remembered this article title from the other day and it’s back again as we continue over coverage of Ivory FC, a Sunday league side from Essex receiving the same coaching received by England footballers as provided by Nivea For Men, which is nice of them.
Now, we introduced you briefly to the plan in general, but for today’s post, we’ll show you the first video in a series of ‘Webisodes’ and talk you through it…
Okay, so admittedly that first video was a bit of a con as it’s only an extended version of that 90-second preview you saw when we first mentioned it on here, but oh well, it’s there for you to watch. Since the past few days on here have been crazy with hits and e-mails (make that the past few weeks, it’s been brilliant hearing from you all so please keep it all up!) I’m willing to put part two up. Aren’t I nice?
So, two episodes in and what have we learned? Well first off, Will Rocket appears to have a very nice car, which is nice, though on the downside, has more chemicals in his hair than a Korean waste disposal site. I thought my hair maintenance was bad! Ivory FC seem a very tight unit and in comparison to my own Sunday league team, they seem very right as a group, unlike my own which apart from a drink straight after training on a Wednesday, don’t do anything together in the week.
The most important trait any team must have is a collective desire to win which comes courtesy of a tight-knit group; you can have as many quality players as you want but unless a collective desire to succeed remains, many teams won’t go far. Ivory FC seem to have that desire, which for the most part, they seem to have. (I say ‘most part’ as we’re nine minutes into knowing the lads)
Throughout the videos, I will call on the quality of the players themselves, this is a football blog so Ivory FC will be getting the same treatmant as if I were writing about Manchester United vs Manchester City; if the Ivory boys aren’t doing well, I’ll call on it and we’ll discuss training methods and the English footballing mentality in the comments. If Ivory FC do pull it all together, which I hope they do, then we can enjoy a very amusing few months watching the episodes as events unfold!
I’ll provide you with part three on here come Sunday in addition to the Saturday round-up of games to give you all some extra reading to do. As I said previously, aren’t I nice?
Like most men, I’m a big fan of playing Sunday League football, for ninety minutes I get the chance to try out what I see over the weekend and personally, I like to take Sunday League to a new level by studying videos of my favourite players to learn a few things, I take it very seriously. What I like most however, is the fact you’ll come across players of all shapes and sizes on a Sunday morning. For example, I play for a side who in their last game employed a frankly overweight bloke just behind our two strikers. He was good on the ball and even assisted a goal and to see that is brilliant, someone who is not an athlete just playing a game he loves and being surprisingly good at it.
Now, when an e-mail came in from Nivea the other day, I was pretty excited to say the least and was intrigued to read on when the author of said e-mail informed me of the ‘Great Football Experiment’. Now to be fair, I’ve heard of this before, or at least something similar.
Every year, a Sunday League side wins the chance to take part in an experiment to see if top level preparation and training alters the performance of your frankly average Sunday League team. As part of the experiment, said team will get the opportunity to train with England and FA Coaches, gain advice from top nutritionists and at the end of their adventure, get to play a team of ‘England Legends’. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity for those of us who never realised our ambitions of playing for an Arsenal or Manchester United and this year, Ivory FC, a team from Essex, are the lucky winners of Nivea’s experiment.
Not a fantastic team, but one realised for their commitment and drive, Ivory FC field such names as Brad Ayling, (nickname, ‘The Bear’) a 25st goalkeeper, or Andrew Day, a 14st centre-back who openly admits to nailing a Pizza the night before a match in preparation. You can probably tell what I’m getting at here, is that Ivory FC are not a team of athletes, but from reading their profiles alone, it’s rather evident they’re all try-hard and very willing, emphasised by the fact a member of the team throws up into a hedge in training in the 90-second round-up video…
In a nutshell, Nivea’s experiment is to find out whether or not an average team can become a great one subject to training of the highest standards. Personally, I think commitment combined with a hunger to succeed and good training/organisation is the key to triumphing in football. I’m an Arsenal fan but when was the last time 70% possession won us a trophy? It hasn’t, not for six years. What qualities did Greece possess when they won Euro 2004? You guessed it, you crafty so-and-so’s, it’s that commitment, hunger and training/organisation I was just talking about.
If Ivory FC can maintain that commitment and hunger, surely they will succeed? Barcelona’s pressing, high-tempo and relentless effort wins them matches, the passing is just the icing on a very tasty cake.
We at JFG Towers will be covering Ivory FC over the next few months as we see whether or not top training can have a positive effect on a team.
If I were you, I’d stay tuned and keep an eye on updates both on here and the official Nivea website covering this experiment!