Europa League Winners To Get Champions League Place / More Transfer News

Good morning. I have precious little to look at across the many football websites this morning. One of the top stories on BBC Sport is of Titus Bramble suggesting he may or may not leave Sunderland. Reading that news fails to titillate me. Could there be a worse transfer story? Read more

Fulham Sign Amorebieta / Pellegrini To Manchester City

Good morning. It is quite staggering just how much change has happened in the Premier League over the past few days. Tony Pulis has "mutually" walked away from Stoke City, which actually means he was sacked without ceremony by Peter Coates. Arsenal have been linked with any striker that has a Read more

Jovetic To Arsenal / Kolo Toure To Liverpool / Tony Pulis Leaves Stoke

GOOD MORNING! Do you wanna know why I typed that in caps lock? Because Tony Pulis has "mutually walked away from Stoke City after chairman Peter Coates sacked him for a sh*t run of results." There's nothing "mutual" about Pulis' departure, he's been sacked. Why? Because Stoke City have stagnated Read more

Mourinho Leaves Real Madrid / Is He So Special?

Good morning. Real Madrid have officially announced what we've all been expecting since about November: Jose Mourinho is leaving Real Madrid after three years in charge, in which time he won the league and Copa Del Rey. Mourinho will take charge for the final time against Osasuna on June 1st, Read more

Arsenal's Platform To Build On / Tottenham Worries

The contrasting situations between Arsenal and Tottenham Hotspur at the end of 90 minutes on Sunday, spoke volumes for the importance of Champions League football. On the one hand, Arsenal celebrated as if they had lifted a trophy, for which they have been criticised for. "Fourth is not a trophy, this just Read more

Africa

FIFA World XI Shortlist

Morning!

I love reading the FIFA World XI shortlist as soon as it’s been announced, primarily due to a desperation to see as many representatives of Arsenal as possible. (Only one in Robin Van Persie, though I’m counting Cesc Fabregas, so it’s two really) Naturally you get normal gripes, such as why is Maicon featuring as one of the world’s leading right-backs when Bacary Sagna, clearly a better all-round player, is nowehere to be seen on the list. Marcelo, Pepe and Sergio Ramos’ name’s on that list also bemuse me, but I guess they’re there to make up the numbers rather than actually contend for a place in the XI.

I’m not going to list those players selected (55 of them) on here, as it’d be a nightmare to copy up, so instead I’ll give you a link here.

So, who from that list would make your starting XI? Here’s mine…

GK: Iker Casillas

RB: Phillip Lahm
CB:
Gerard Piqué
CB:
Vincent Kompany
LB:
Ashley Cole

RCM: Cesc Fabregas
CM:
Yaya Touré
LCM:
Mesut Ozil

RW: Cristiano Ronaldo
ST:
Robin Van Persie
LW:
Lionel Messi

Now let me explain my selections, as there will no doubt be a few counter-arguments to every other player.

In goal, Iker Casillas is going to be the only winner in a dream team competition all day long. He’s been long serving at the top level for Real Madrid, captains Los Blancos, as well as making the Spain No.1 jersey his own, as well as captaining maybe the best national side we’ve ever seen grace a football pitch, so that much is self-explanatory. As for Casillas’ competition for a spot in this team, maybe only Edwin Van Der Saar was going to come close and it would have been easy to pick the Dutchman purely out of sentiment, but being realistic, there was still a level between Casillas and Van Der Saar that even Manchester United fans could recognise.

In defence, well I like my defenders to defend primarily, anything else is a bonus for me, which is why I opted for Philip Lahm at right-back, rather than the marauding Dani Alves. When Arsenal played Barcelona last season, Alves had fast players such as Walcott, Nasri and Arshavin facing him to exploit his poor positioning. It was Alves’ poor positioning which lead to Arsenal’s equaliser so for me, Alves is primarily an attacker, which isn’t what I want. Lahm on the other hand is a world class defender, as well as more than adept at being able to attack his opposition full-back tirelessly. When he retires, Lahm will be remembered as a legend for Germany. At Centre-Back, I’ve opted for Vincent Kompany and Gerard Piqué. I like defenders to play the ball out, rather than kick it long and both players are fantastic with the ball at their feet, especially Gerard Piqué who starts so many attacks for Barcelona. As for Kompany, well he was one of the key reasons behind Manchester City’s success last season and has carried it through to this season, so for me, he’s one of the top in Europe right now. At left-back I barely need to give a reason as to why I’ve selected Ashley Cole. He’s the best left-back in the world at present and that isn’t about to change.

In midfield is where some debate may come to fruition, but I’m confident in my selections. Cesc Fabregas is my favourite player, so was always going to make it on to this list but favouritism aside, there can be no counter-argument for a man who is currently Barcelona’s second-most productive player (in terms of goals and assists) behind Lionel Messi. Add to that he’s been Arsenal’s most creative player for years, as well the Premiership’s, creating more chances than Xavi and Iniesta, despite being in a weaker team at the time, it has to be recognised that Fabregas is a freakish talent and as such, was my first selection for this team.

Yaya Touré may not be so obvious to the naked eye, but again, let me explain. For starters, this team needs to be balanced and Touré is more than able of curbing his own attacking instincts to play a slightly deeper role than Cesc and Ozil. Last season, Touré accumulated eight goals and four assists for Manchester City, a phenomenal return for a player deployed in a different position to what he was used to at Barcelona, playing in a different country, at a different pace. Touré didn’t jut score goals in 3-0 wins either, scoring the only goals in 1-0 wins over Manchester United in the FA Cup Semi-Final, and again in the FA Cup Final itself against Stoke City, securing Manchester City’s first trophy for 35 years.

With more assists than Xavi or Iniesta with a total of 17, (as well as scoring six) Ozil deserves his place in this XI for showing great adaptation following his big-money move from Werder Bremen to Real Madrid. Most other players may have hidden, but not Ozil. Arsene Wenger recently noted that, ‘Kaka isn’t playing at the moment, purely because of Ozil’. That’s a big statement of how far Ozil has come, keeping Kaka out of Real Madrid’s starting XI.

My strike force is a little more predictable. Full of goals, it’s an absolute stat machine. from this season and last season, Messi, Ronaldo and Van Persie have scored a combined total of 191 goals. On that stat alone, I don’t need to justify just how good this strike force is. If these three were ever to miraculously come together in the same team, there would be 9-0 thrashings dished out no matter who they played.

Think you can do better than my effort? I doubt it, but I’d like to see you try all the same…

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Posted on by Craig in Africa, England, Europe, France, Germany, Italy, Premiership, South America, Spain, World Leave a comment

Essien Out For 6 Months / Johnson Joins Wolves

Morning all! Today is D-Day for me as my heads off for it’s MOT; wish me luck!

Normally, I’d tie in the use of the term, ‘D-Day’ with another club who are facing a major decision, but Essien’s injury isn’t really a defying moment for Chelsea, more like a fly running full pelt into your torso. In other words, Essien’s injury is, ‘water off a Duck’s back’ as well as various other metaphors I could use but don’t fancy jotting down at such an hour.

“The Bison” is now aged 28, far, far away from being at an age where it can be argued that years are denying Essien of his best form. In fact, dodgy knees are the cause of Essien’s decline over the past two years.

Having ruptured cruciate ligaments in a World Cup 2010 qualifier back in 2008, Essien returned in March to help Ghana to the 2010 World Cup finals, before picking up another serious knee injury in last year’s African Nations Cup. Consequently, Essien missed Ghana’s World Cup campaign and despite a solid season in the 2010/11 campaign just passed by, Essien’s lack of game time in seasons gone by drastically showed, with a measly return of 3 goals and 2 assists.

Essien’s latest long term injury is likely to spell the end of “The Bison’s” career at Stamford Bridge, with new manager Villas-Boas likely to search for replacements for the Ghanaian midfielder.

Another 28 year old hitting headlines is Birmingham defender, Roger Johnson, who is soon to to be a proud member of the Wolves squad for a reported £7 million.

I’ve said on here time and time before how I feel about signing relegated defenders. Since I’m in the mood, I’ll reiterate my stance and say it again; signing a relegated defender represents a risk, due to their confidence having taken a battering over the course of a season and I would always steer clear of signing a defender fresh from that situation.

Highly rated by Birmingham, they have decided to let Johnson go to a local rival, a decision I find rather remarkable taking into account recent events. Aged 28 though, maybe Birmingham have decided now is the time to get the best money they can for Johnson, considering they still have two young centre backs in Scott Dann and Liam Ridgewell.

Well there we go for today, a pretty quiet a day at that

Posted on by Craig in Africa, Championship, England, Premiership, World Leave a comment

Cult Hero XI

As I said in my guest article last month which resulted in a rant about FIFA, I originally planned to do a Cult Heroes article. Now, as FIFA is all nice and lovely, with all corruption a thing of the past and the fascist dictatorship of Sepp Blatter consigned to history*, here it is!

Everyone has their favourite footballer, with Lionel Messi being a particularly popular and therefore unoriginal choice at the moment. The main problem with Messi is that he’s actually quite good, and liking a player because they’re good is just plain boring. The best choices are the ones with a bit of flair, a bit of charisma! (Who aren’t Cristiano Ronaldo)

Here is are my  XI players that form a team which are world class when it comes to womanising, fishing with serial killers, mental hair and just pure comedy.  Or, as they shall forever be remembered, legends.

Some of them are quite good, some not so, but any one of them would make a far better pundit for Sky than Gary ‘My dad’s more of a legend than me because I’ve got a pathetic attempt at a moustache, even at the age of 36, whereas he’s got the gangsta name of Neville Neville’ Neville.

 

*As much as we would like it to be, his may not be true.

In a kind of bodged together 4-4-2 formation to make them all fit in:

 

Goalkeeper

Rene Higuita

People talk about Gordon Banks’ save from Pele as the greatest ever, but those people are just wrong. How anyone can look past Rene Higuita’s scorpion kick against England at Wembley is beyond me. Yes, ok it was only a friendly, and from a Jamie Redknapp shot, but other than that it’s just perfect in every way. Another fun Higuita fact, he has scored more international goals than Emile Heskey, who doesn’t make this  team, but may have a stint in the ‘Donkey XI’ if I ever get round to it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCxe4r6SjH0

 

Defence

Stuart Pearce

The Psycho himself. A Nottingham Forest and England legend, and captain for both, that earned his nickname for his unforgiving style of play, and going a bit mental on the pitch. There needs to be more footballers like him! As a player of course, as managing is proving a slightly more challenging. And no, don’t blame Jack and Andy for the under 21’s!

Terry Butcher

He’s the man we want all our footballers to be like ain’t he? Not these poncey foreigners that don’t like it up ‘em, dive like a Daley and hate nothing more than a cold, rainy away fixture in Stoke. Nah, we want them to get there head smashed in, put on a bandage and play on in their blood soaked shirt! There’s a bit o’ old English grit and passion I tell ya! Forever a hero.

Tony Adams

Mr Arsenal, the player who defined a club. That was back when they actually used to win stuff of course. But the crowning moment has to be his goal against Everton in the game that won the league title in 1998.

“Adams put through by Bould, would you believe it!”

Sends shudders down my spine. Anyway enough of that, he was a raging alcoholic that once shat himself in a bar. That’s why he makes this list.

David Luiz

Is he a footballer? Well yeah, and he’s quite good at it I guess, but really? Are you sure he’s not Sideshow Bob? Not even in the lookalike contest at Butlins? Rumour has it he spends his weekends dressed as said Simpsons character and works as a male stripper at clown themed Hen-do’s. Tis true I tell you.*

*Again, may not be true.

 

Midfield

George Best

The original, and always the best, playboy footballer. And also the provider of one of my favourite ever quotes:

“I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted”

Bravo to you sir.

Certainly one of the greatest players to every grace the game, but it’s the off the pitch antics which really give him that cult status. He just seemed to do everything in a far classier way than modern day footballers do now. Messrs Terry and Cole I’m looking at you here.

Paul Gascoigne

Again, one of the most gifted players of his generation. However, also an absolute lunatic. Yes he beat his wife and that was quite bad, but we can look past that can’t we? I mean any man that goes up to a police stand-off with a serial killer, absolutely off his face, armed with beer, chicken and a fishing rod deserves our respect right? And he did release a single, ‘Fog on the Tyne’? And he scored that goal against Scotland at Wembley? Yeah we can forgive him a bit of domestic violence. He also cried once, putting him in that ‘shows a bit of English passion’ bracket with Mr Terence Butcher up there. We do love passion don’t we?

Jimmy Bullard

He’s one of the ‘He ain’t that good, but he’s funny, so we like him’ footballers. Always a down to Earth lad, his commercial for ‘Wash & Go’ has to go down as one of the greatest adverts (and worst) ever. Also the goal celebration parodying Phil Brown’s half time rant on the pitch has to go down as one of the greatest celebrations. Thank you for bringing a bit of humour and personality to modern day footballers. Note to RioFerdy5 here, I don’t consider #stayonyourfeet humour. #oooff  #justsayin. Twitterers will understand.

Vinnie Jones

Here we have a man, part of Wimbledon’s famed ‘Crazy Gang’, that’s capitalised on his hard man image by moving into Hollywood, and snapping up every role that requires an ‘ard English gangster that doesn’t talk much. (I know he played for Wales, but let’s be honest, he’s English. He was born in Watford, to English parents.) He also once managed to get himself booked inside 5 seconds, very impressive if I may say so myself.

Thank you Vinnie, It’s been emotional.

 

Attack

Eric Cantona

I put him in this team for one reason, and one reason alone. THAT Kung-Fu kick against that Crystal Palace fan. I could honestly watch that all day long, as well as this man here of course. A kung-fu kick so glorious, it was well worth the 8 month suspension and £30,000 fine. He followed this up in a press conference by using the slightly bizarre expression:

“When the seagulls follow the trawler, it’s because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea. Thank you very much.”

I don’t know what that means Eric, but I completely agree.

Roger Milla

Roger Milla found fame at the ripe old age of 38 with his showing for Cameroon at the 1990 World Cup in Italy.  Here he became known not only for his four goals, including one gifted to him by his very own cult hero team mate, Rene Higuita (Got a good team-spirit going on here), but also for his elaborate celebrations. He became known for his trademark dance when he scored a goal, and from there on in set the blueprint for the celebration of every goal scored by an African ever since. He was also named by Pele himself as one of the 125 greatest footballers of all time, which is nice.

Higuita

Luiz Butcher Adams Pearce

Best Gascoigne Bullard Jones

Cantona Milla

Posted on by Rob in Africa, Asia, Championship, England, Europe, France, Germany, Italy, League One, League Two, Premiership, Russia, South America, Spain, USA, World 1 Comment

Homophobia In Football

Okay, so quite a controversial topic today and I was in two minds as to whether right it or not – a predicament which leads me right into the subject.

Why should this subject be so ‘taboo’? Well, the basis of this story came about after I read a blog on the BBC on Anton Hysen – a 20 year old left-sided midfield player, playing for Utsiktens BK who ply their trade in the fourth tier of Swedish football. On his coming out as openly homosexual, Hysen has been ‘rewarded’ for being open about who he is and has been invited to a host of parties, guest TV appearances, he receives gifts from fans and has been invited to the Eurovision song contest, which he claims to hate. Now, he’s not the only one bemused by being ‘awarded’ for his sexuality, as I too am thoroughly confused by it. Read more

Posted on by Craig in Africa, Asia, Championship, England, Europe, France, Germany, Italy, League One, League Two, Premiership, Russia, South America, Spain, USA, World Leave a comment