The Joe Kinnear Show / Arsenal To Land Higuain

Good morning. Joe Kinnear was a theatrical, comedic goldmine yesterday on Talksport, saying that he's "more intelligent" than Newcastle United supporters and showing a crushing inability to pronounce the names of Newcastle's top players. Kinnear called Yohan Cabaye, "Yohan Kebab" and have you ever heard of Hatem Ben Affri? Kinnear Read more

Joe Kinnear Back at Newcastle / Confederations Cup

Good morning. Joe Kinnear has re-joined Newcastle United under the guise of "Director of Football." Due to the absurdity of the appointment, I could finish the blog here and leave you to chew on that information for the entirety of your Monday. It is a very bizarre development at Newcastle, as Read more

Betting tips for the Premier League: who will be favourites next season to win?

The new Premier League season is set to be an exciting one, thanks to a raft of changes that have occurred at the top clubs since the end of the last one, which leave things feeling less predictable than they have for a while. The fact that Chelsea have Read more

Chelsea Agree Schuerrle Deal / Ronaldo Doesn't Sign A New Contract.

Good morning. As I trawled through the various football websites this morning, all I saw was this... Tumbleweed. Lots and lots of tumbleweed. The transfer window hasn't opened and won't do so until the July 1st, so we should all calm down in that regard. At the moment it feels as Read more

Review of the 2012/13 Season - Leicester City

The football season is over, players have gone on holiday and the tedium of transfer rumours have officially started, if not prematurely, with the transfer window not actually until July 1st. So, what to do until August when it all kicks off again? Spend time with loved ones? Take Read more

England

Pardew Fined / Hulk To Zenit / New England Kit Supplier

Morning.

There’s nothing that kills a mood more than the words, ‘international break’ For two weeks now, we have to sit through some pretty abject World Cup 2012 qualifying matches against the stellar opposition of Moldova and Ukraine. I hate international fixtures being played so early in the domestic season, we all do.

In the intervening time, we’ll make do with what we have in the news, and first on my agenda is Alan Pardew’s punishment for a shove on assistant referee, Alan Kirkup in Newcastle 2-1 win over Tottenham Hotspur at St James’ Park on the opening day of the season. For whatever reason, Pardew pushed Kirkup in the back as he was entering a frenzy over an incident on the pitch and out of either frustration or because he wanted a better view, the Newcastle manager pushed Kirkup, consequently leading to the dismissal of Pardew to the stands by referee, Martin Atkinson. Read more

Posted on by Craig in England, Europe, Premiership, Russia, Russian Football Championship Leave a comment

Arshavin Stands On Bystrov / Arteta Injury Blow

Oh Andrey.

Good morning all!

I’ve never dealt with news very well on a Friday, it’s all so slow and to do with previews and predictions. I don’t like predicting football, I never do accumulators anymore as it’s nearly impossible.

As such, we don’t do predictions on here (anymore) so I’ve trawled the BBC News Sports section online, typed in Andrey Arshavin’s name and I find a great little story from the ‘Metro’ newspaper.

In the process of scoring the goal to put Zenit St Petersburg 1-0 ahead, Vladimir Bystrov pulled a muscle in his stomach. Bystrov fell to the ground after some gesticulating and for whatever reason, everybodys favourite Meerkat impressionist decided to stand on Bystrov’s chest as if he’d hunted him down and was claiming his prey, or as if he’d scaled a very large mountain.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CR7BAfhgnsU

Asked why Arshavin had decided to indulge in a bit of stamping on his team mates, Arshavin replied with: ‘Well he was writhing and I wanted him to stop’.

Any paramedics reading this, don’t hesitate to stand on your patients if you’re sick to the back teeth of them complaining, just do an Arshavin. This isn’t the only strange occurence involving Andrey Arshavin in recent weeks. Only recently was Arshavi involved in a minor car crash and when waiting for help, a passer-by offered Arshavin a grapefruit. Of all the people in the world, only Arshavin could be offered a grapefruit in a car crash.

What a bloke.

In more serious news, Arsenal’s Mikel Arteta picked up a badly sprained ankle in Arsenal’s 2-1 defeat by Wigan Athletic on Monday. Fortunately, Arteta hasn’t broken his ankle, nor does he need surgery, which is what Arsene Wenger claims the real fear was.

As Arsenal prepare for the final four games of their season, it is a monumental loss as the Gunners look to maintain their five-point gap over Tottenham Hotspur and finish third in the table so as to achieve automatic qualification for the Champions League. Mikel Arteta has been pivotal for Arsenal in midfield this season, sacrificing some of his natural attacking ability to offer more stability in Arsenal’s play and despite conceding 43 goals, Arsenal’s new-look side has suffered horrific injury losses at full-back and had to endure a transition period as the new players settled in. Don’t forget Arsenal conceded eight at Old Trafford which doesn’t reflect truly on their overall season.

Arsenal, for all of that, have looked more solid this season and that is thanks in no small part to Mikel Arteta who has proved to be an immense signing. Many thought he had seen his better years at Everton but the Spaniard has shown that class is permanent and if it weren’t for a certain Robin Van Persie, he’d pick up Arsenal’s ‘Player of the Year’ award for certain.

The dilemma now is who can replace Arteta as Arsenal enter the final few matches. Aaron Ramsey has looked a broken player this season, he’s played far too many matches and again, that’s down to long-term injuries attributed to both Abou Diaby and Jack Wilshere. If those two had been fit, Ramsey wouldn’t have played as much as he has. Ramsey’s very tired, lost his confidence as a result of that and sadly, Arsenal fans aren’t helping him in regards to boosting his confidence. I don’t indulge in the venomous underbelly of Twitter’s moronic members, but those wishing him another serious injury really are the World’s lowest people. Ramsey will be a fantastic player. Fabregas had similar stats to Ramsey in his first proper season, so there isn’t any rush to fast-track Ramsey to greatness, just let him bloom!

Right, that’s yer lot for today. I’ll see you on Sunday, as I can’t really not write anything about El Classico, can I?!

P.S. Can you remember us covering the ‘Great Football Experiment’ by Nivea For Men? You can? Brilliant!

Well, having played a team of England Legends including the likes of Ray Parlour, Ian Walker and Clive Allen, winning 2-1 in the process, Ivory FC have since teamed up with Andrew Henderson, the ‘World Freestyle Football Champion’ to show and teach the lads at Ivory some new tricks. Rather than teach them new tricks, Andrew Henderson teaches a masterclass in how to play keepy-ups with a grapefruit, lemon and a toilet roll. It’s mesmeric stuff!


Posted on by Craig in England, Europe, Premiership, Russia, Russian Football Championship Leave a comment

Bryan Robson Suffers Selective Memory / Anzhi Angered In Samba Race Row

Morning all!

Today is Friday, the end of our working week and another step closer to this blog getting a fancy face-lift. Whilst there is a part of me that sort of likes this weird, thrown-together layout, I have to be realistic and say it looks incredibly poor compared to other blogs. I feel that sometimes, the quality of the site undermines what we write and soon enough, that will all change. We’ll look fancy and there’s going to be buttons here, there and everywhere. I can’t put a date on it just yet, but it will be very, very soon.

Anyway, in this morning’s news, Sam Sheringham of the BBC, reports that Bryan Robson believes that Sir Alex Ferguson’s zero-tolerance approach to unruly players will give his club the edge over Manchester City in the title race.

According to Robson, Manchester City players Carlos Tevez and Mario Balotelli have been allowed to disrupt their team’s title challenge in a way that Ferguson would have never allowed, stating, ‘the Tevez saga, stories of Balotelli’s nights out, Ferguson doesn’t allow it to happen in his club. He does man-management really well, that could be the biggest difference’.

It would seem that Robson has made a very large oversight here, completely forgetting the Wayne Rooney saga which enveloped Manchester United last season. Rooney claimed he was not going to re-sign his contract with Manchester United, stating that United ‘lacked ambition’ and wanted out. It was no hoax either, as a tearful Sir Alex Ferguson revealed all during a press conference before a Champions League match against Bursaspor.

If Rooney was not to sign a new deal with Manchester United, then it would have meant Rooney going on the cheap in January, and even cheaper that summer if he were to stay, with Rooney being a free agent at the end of the current season. (2011/2012) Rooney’s public tantrum saw him offered a huge contract, above any other United player. Rooney knew he held all the cards. In Rooney’s position as star player and a lucrative figure for Manchester United to use on tours of Asia and America etc, it would have been a disaster to let him go and just as expensive to replace him. Rooney knew that and forced Sir Alex Ferguson and the Manchester United board into giving him a massive contract.

So I ask you, Mr Robson, how tolerant was SAF on Rooney during that whole saga, or how tolerant was SAF when Rooney was revealed to have had a threesome with two prostitutes? Since Rooney’s contract saga, he’s been involved with prostitutes and just a few months ago, was dropped from the United squad for a few matches, having been caught out at a restaurant with his wife, Coleen, the night before a match.

I’d say that Rooney is skipping about, doing as he pleases under Sir Alex Ferguson’s watch, wouldn’t you? There are instances where Sir Alex Ferguson had been unable to tame a player and it would seem that Mario Balotelli is another player who can’t be tamed into being a fluffy, household pet.

As for the Carlos Tevez saga which Robson refers to, well I believe Roberto Mancini handled that episode expertly. Having refused to play for Manchester City against Bayern Munich in the Allianz Arena, in the Champions League, you know, the biggest club competition in world football, Tevez was immediately dropped and sent away. Mancini vowed Tevez would never play again for Manchester City.

When the dust had settled and Mancini had indeed calmed down, he stated that Tevez would be allowed a way back into Manchester City’s team, but only when he’d apologised, which was a very fair thing to say. That was Mancini simply being the bigger man and offering Tevez an olive branch, on the condition that Tevez grovelled to grab a hold of that branch.

Since then, Carlos Tevez has publicly apologised, though it did take much pouting to get him there, and Roberto Mancini has re-introduced him into the fold, keeping his promise. Tevez lost £10 million in wages, sponsorship etc, so he got a severe punishment financially.

For Robson to suggest that Mancini has no control over his players is ridiculous, they clearly all play for him, or they would have never managed that tactical masterclass over Manchester United at Old Trafford, winning 6-1. It wasn’t just a few individuals who won the match for Manchester City that day, but a collective team effort, all drilled to Mancini’s wishes.

Finally, we’ll end today’s news in Russia, or Dagestan, where Chris Samba was racially abused whilst playing an away match for Anzhi Makhachkala against Lokomotiv Moscow. At the end of the match, which Lokomotiv won 1-0, Samba had a banana thrown in his direction from a member of the home support.

Lokomotiv however, dispute claims that their fans threw the banana and are laying the blame on Anzhi’s travelling support. Lokomotiv spokesman, Denis Novoselov told the Daily Mail that: ‘We studied all the video from surveillance cameras, carefully reviewed the testimony of witnesses , and the results of this investigation found that the banana was thrown by a fan of the Dagestani team. Anzhi vice-president, German Chistyakov then responded through the media: ‘We’ll wait for the results of the official investigation by RFPL (Russian Premier League). In the current situation we demand Lokomotiv provide us with the conclusive evidence, or immediate and official refutation with an apology to our fans and the club. Otherwise the case will be brought before the court and the law-enforcement bodies, not the ethics committee’.

Photo courtesy of Sovsport.ru

It really concerns me that these statements were flaunted before an investigation by the RFPL proved conclusive either way. It shows a lack of organisation, practice, professionalism and an awfully childish approach to a thing as serious as a race-row. All of this as Russia prepares itself to host a World Cup? It’s ludicrous to think that the world’s different ethnicities are bound to descend on a country so hostile in its treatment of other cultures.

There has even been an excuse made for the throwing of said banana, as in Russian culture, ‘to get a banana’, means, ‘to fail a test somewhere’. Lokomotiv has been linked with bananas before, having made a banner following ex-striker Peter Odemwingie’s transfer to Premiership side, West Brom. Lokomotiv’s banner read, ‘thank you West Brom’, with the words surrounded by bananas and showed one big banana.

Again, it worries me that such an attitude is displayed in Russia’a capital city towards black players and that Lokomotiv actually permitted their fans to display this banner. The banners you see at Arsenal are all permitted by the club and are only allowed up once they have been reviewed by Arsenal. Is there such organisation within Russia? I don’t believe that Lokomotiv Moscow ordered the banner removed immediately, either.

So here’s my final question. Having failed to captain Russia to World Cup 2010 and (though I hate to say it as I love the player) following a failed move to Arsenal, just how many baskets of bananas does Andrey Arshavin receive per week? If anybody can give me an account of lumps of bananas turning up at the doors of Roman Pavlyuchenko, Diniyar Bilyaletdinov and Andrey Arshavin, then I’ll shave my hair off, and even put the footage on YouTube to prove it.

That’s all from me today, I’ll see you back here on Monday. Till then.


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